Rushingfoot-Bio-VeryLiterateVersion-

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..::Name::..
Root word; Rushing,
Prefix; Foot,
Nicknames; Rush, Rushing,
Name Called; Clumsy-Paw He is a Bit Clumsy and Cats make fun of him.
 
..::Age::..
He is Twenty-Seven Moons.
 
..::Gender::..
You May have already Noticed I have been using /He/ and /Him/ So just Incase you aren't the Person that doesn't Pay attention to little words like that I'll Help you out.
Tom/Male,
 
..::Description of character appearance::..
Rushingfoot is a Large Tom/Male with broad Shoulders and large Paws; His long Tail and High Ears Help him stand still at times, but because of His Large Paws he Is clumsy.
He has long Cherry Orange Fur with a faint tip of Dark Rusty Red On his Ear tips and A line down his back Peaking up down his forehead separating into stripes.
On his Muzzle he has a Black line defiant to his lips making his resemblance to his cousin Lynx.
Rushingfoot's Tail is a long two rabbit length, it helps him keep his balance along with his large ears.
He has a White Chest blaze and a half muzzle also in white with his eyes being green and his nose being Pink.
His breed is British Long Hair.
 
..::Mate::..
Past Mate; He was abandoned By his Past mate /Applewing/ and exiled by his past Clan Rippleclan.
Current Mate; None
 
..::Kit(s)::..
Past Kits ;He failed to continue being Mates with Applewing thus leaving /Cherrykit/ and /Tangkit/ Back at Rippleclan.
Current Kits; None
 
..::Preferred clan::..
Rushingfoot would likely Proffer TempestClan.
Reasoning of Tempestclan;
Rushingfoot is known for his Speed,
And what I've heard is that Tempestclan has fast cats.
 
..::Preferred rank::..
He would go well with Just Warrior,
 
..::RP Style::..
Setting; Dawn
Area; Rippleclan Camp
Scene; Exile
Rushingfoot heard His leader Lightstar Call to the Clan, He knew what was going on, He had done something wrong in his Path.
And Lightstar Had had a large grudge on Him, He had gotten a lot of cats down to the Medicine cat because of his Clumsy-paws.
And she had had Enough.
He had Killed Breezeclans Deputy with his Clumsy Paws.

He lifted his head and flicked his ears to hear the noise of the peering cats they glared at him when raising to his paws occurred.
He then lowered his head to shoulder height and flattened his ears down to the start of his neck,
The time came when the leader looked down at him with her Cold icey eyes, the rest of the cats Including Applewing and his Kits gave him a look as if he had just-Killed A deputy.
 
He lowered his flank in the front of the cats and dared to look up at his leader, his rights were all wrong and he would have great punishments from the things he had done.
A cat beside him Hissed at him "What now Clumsy-paw," The name stung him like a Fox bite
/Clumsy-paw..../He thought gravely to himself,
Behind Him a Queen spoke "Whats wrong?" She was kind and worry-some of Rushingfoot,
Like a Mother.
But his was dead.
 
The cat sitting near The Queen spoke back to her in a Fierce tone "Don't speak to the Deputy Killer." the cat that spoke was Burntbelly, a Panda marked tom with a cold but warm spirit.
"Rushing, Is that t-true?" The Queen dared to think that Rushingfoot had killed a Deputy.
 
The response was drooping his head to stare at the ground, Now Tawnyeye would frown at him,
"Rushingfoot!" Her warm Voice turned into a Low Hiss as she lashed her tail angrily and got up to walk over to Applewing; she also was lashing her tail angrily.
 
Rushingfoot dared to sigh, He was already in a Heap of trouble;
Every-cat in his Clan hated him, He was an Outcast-, /Clumsy-paw/ The Name rung in his head again.
 
"Cats of Rippleclan!" Lightstar Spoke broadly like she was proud to have defeated Breezeclan with a Kill.
"Rushingfoot as been killing Deputies!" A Cat yowled from the back of the clan puffing up her fur in anger, it was Crowfoot; A she-cat that was very close to the Deputy of Breezeclan.
"Hush," Lightstar started to lash her tail in fury,
 
"Rushingfoot," She look down to Him and raised her gaze to Applewing and Tawnyeye with the two nameless kits.
"Because of your actions I Must follow the Ancestors Saying..." She closed her eyes and breathed in,
"You have two Nameless kits." She continued
"We will name them," She closed her eyes then opening them to a shot glance to a cat that had spoken
"What  Kind of Punishment is that!" The cat hissed as mumbling came from the Clans words,
"Quiet Rippleclan!" Lightstar Yowled and growled lowly
"What clan are you to not let a leader Finish her words!" She huffed deeply at the cats as most of them continued to mumble words to friends.
 
"The Red kit will be known as Cherrykit," Applewing yowled out as Lightstar Nodded so ever Slightly
"Cherrykit." Rushingfoot mumbled under his breath as he felt a sharp claw to his flank,
"The Orange kit will be Known as Tangkit," Applewing spoke once more almost saying her kits name in a Large hiss.
 
"Cherrykit and Tangkit!" Lightstar spoke loudly as the clan stayed quiet,they weren't in a Cheering mood, Rushingfoot was still in camp.
 
"As for you Rushingfoot." Lightstar Glared at Him as cats pulled back their lips to a snarl;
Some hissed at him and some growled at him.
One cat felt bad for him.
 
Lightstar rised to her paws and yowled loudly
"By the words from Starclan you are Exiled!" She fluffed up her fur in a harming manor as Rushingfoot's heart stopped.
 
"Exile!" The Cats called out towards Rushingfoot
"Leave this Clan and our territory all together! You aren't wanted here!" Lightstar jumped down from her rock to Face Rushingfoots face
"Never-Come-Here" She lashed her tail angrily and yowling came from Applewing, Tangkit was crying,
She never wanted her Father to leave and her mother was Cheering with the other cats.
It was too much for her.
 
"Clumsy-paw!" The cat from before spoke the name again as Rushingfoot rouse to his paws and almost fell over with his tail dragging on the forest floor he took one last glance at his kits and ran.
 
Short Summary of Rp Sample;
One thing, I am an Author Yes its LONG but I needed to act out the other cats to fully understand the Story. It would be Half the size of that.
 
Cats Call him Clumsy-paw because he is a Clumsy cat,
He killed the Deputy while trying to Wound him, He took a miss step with his paws and struck the Deputies neck and the deputy needed to rush to the Medicine cat, But while the Deputy was on his way to the Medicine cat he died of Blood loss.
 
Moonstar was changed to;
Lightstar
 
If anything ELSE was confusing IN MY BIO or ROLEPLAY sample Please Tell me EXACLTY what doesn't make sense.
Thank you~

..::Extra(s)::..
Tangkit;
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Cherrykit;
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Applewing;
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Tawnyeye;
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Lightstar;
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Crowfoot;
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Burntbelly;
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..::How he Killed the Deputy::..
He had Been in a Fight against Breezeclan when he had attacked the Breezeclan Deputy.
He had lost Balance when he had pounced on The deputy Taking a Large swipe to his neck,
The Deputy was slow at the point and had to rush to the Medicine cat,
Apparently after The Deputy had TRIED to rush to the Medicine cat he had Died from too much Blood loss.

((Fluffy Unicorn(s) ))

I'm sorry, not approved. I'm not completely sure how realistic you are. And some parts of your form are very vague and confusing, if I'm to be completely honest. What breed exactly is Rushing? You mentioned they were related to a Lynx and such? I need to know to ensure realism, because some breeds just wouldn't be possible in clans.
Moonstar is an unrealistic name, because the cats never name themselves after things that are sacred to them. Yes, there was a Moonflower in the books, but Erin Hunter verified my point at one stage, though she said she wouldn't change the characters name because it would cause too much confusion.
Long roleplay replies are always great, but something that long really wasn't necessary. xD It was a tad confusing too - Did he kill the deputy or not? And how would he kill a cat with his clumsy paws? xD I also don't really get where MouseFoot comes in as a nickname, because doesn't he have large paws? Unless it's intended sarcasm. Sorry, I just feel you need to make a couple of things clearer before I approve this. :3

I have Edited The Bio,
If you'd like me to Explain why Cats Call him Mouse foot I will Gladly Do so;

When He was a Kit his Paws where Bigger then a Normal Kits Paws.

A warrior made fun of him saying that When he Is a warrior he Could be named
/Mouse/ Because At that point he was tiny
and /Foot/ Because his paws where so Big.

You're welcome~

Still, you haven't explained how he managed to kill a cat with his paws, and you'll need to choose between TempestClan and SombreClan because I cannot approve you unless you do so.

Alright,
And I have Edited My Clan Choice at the Start,
Tempestclan was my choice.
I'll get right on how he Killed The Deputy.

I have Edited My Bio,
Once Again.

And I have Explained how the Deputy Died.

Hello, and welcome to the forum!
Feel free to call me Fenris, a mini-mod of GBMP!

Now I understand that making detailed characters are entertaining and pretty fun to create, but I know from experience that making a character (more specifically an Rp character) too detailed can make role-playing possibly complicated (depending on how skilled the Rper is of course). I mean, how is RushingFoot going to explain to others why he acts the way he does? Or about his exile? Wouldn't he be too upset and angry about what had happened and rather work it out with himself first?
Might I suggest making him a loner to start with, and communicating with the clan you would like him to join via a borderline or something? It would help to develop his character much easier that way.

I'm very truly sorry for all the hassle but I feel that this character is very developed and seems to be prepared for more of a book of their very own than a Role-play session. That's just how I feel anyway.

I really enjoyed your story, but it's not exactly what we are looking for when it comes to an RP sample. You would just type in how you and your character would interact with the other cats/wolves while you are Rping, not necessarily their whole backstory. You have a rather intriguing character right here, but this form is to see how good you are at Role-playing also- not just the character itself. It would be better to keep it simple- than later explain his past in the 'Character Profiles' section of the forum. That's just what I feel anyway.

Alright,
I have Decided that THIS one is AN EXTRA one Just Incase Cats want to Learn MORE about Rushing.

I will create another one LESS Literate,
Just want to be Helpful and Less confusing for you guys <3

He has long Cherry Fur with a faint tip of Dark Rusty Red On his Ear tips and A line down his back Peaking up down his forehead separating into stripes.

Long ‘cherry‘ fur? Sorry, it seems really....red to me. I'm not sure? Someone clarify? xD I think the only thing it could be is....russet. Or is it more dark brown ish?

His breed is Maine coon mix.

And....I don't know about this. I think you need to buy this from the admin store. Alue or the admins could clarify.

Oh I'm sorry, I had no clue,
And With his Cherry fur I forgot to put Cherry Orange.

And Alright,
I don't really know Any other Cat breeds with Large Paws, and Big Ears...

Sorry, let me clarify that.
There cannot be purebreeds or -I don't think- mix breeds of (etc, Maine Coone and some othrr purebred), Or even related to a purebred. Not too sure.
Purebreds could ‘ONLY‘ bought at our admin store. I have no clue if it is related to purebreds or one of its parents are purebred though: /

Admin Store?
Sorry,
What is that?
That May-be a Stupid Question >->

Oh gosh, all right, I'll jump in here because this topic is getting /so/ many replies. :P

Yep, Chippy's right, you can't have a pure bred character. You don't need to tell in your form the breed your character is unless it's absolutely necessary, like, you can just describe their appearance and that should be alright. However, I'm not going to approve you just yet, Rushing, as I'd like to wait until an Admin comes online for this one. Really sorry about the long delay. : ) HowlingStar should be on soon enough.

The Admin Store is a Point Store down in the OOC section. :3 It's where you can use the points you earn from roleplaying and posting around the forum to buy little rewards and character modifications. Extra characters and unrealistic pelt markings are some examples.

Thanks. That was a mess, typing on my phone when I'm not half awake yet xDD

I have Edited The Bio,
He is now a British Long hairbreed.

~Sorry for the Inconvenience

HI THERE! :3 I'm Jason or HowlingStar - Creator of GBMP. :3

So, I have a few points to make (I'm a bit confused).
You said you want to use this character as an extra? You can have a maximum of 5 characters and I really like the way you have developed this character. He's got a really interesting and unquie backstory. But, there are some points I need to make. If you wish ti discard this character and create a new one, it's fine - Just let an Admin or Moderator know. (The ones in bright green or bright yellow, like myself) Or, if you want to create another character, too, that's fine, but, I do suggest making one character to start with and then creating more once you get a feel for the forum.

Rushing doesn't need to be a loner. He'd be great in a clan, too. You could just fast forward loner life and fast forward it so that he has already been accepted into TempestClan.

I really like the insulting name. But, "mice" are small and not really considered clumsy, at all, in any clans from my RP knowledge. Clumsy-Paws or Clumsy-paw is a good nickname within it's self if you ask me.

So.. Rushing was in RippleClan, correct? Yet he killed the BreezeClan deputy during a fight? Here's my confusion. Killing a cat is considered wrong in the warrior code and is basically a last resort, but, a cat would not be exiled for killing a cat of a different clan if they were in a fight. I mean, well.. In my own opinion (I have lead about 4 clans and Rped in about 50 xD) I have never heard of anything like that. It seems (in the way I have interrupted it) that RippleClan went against their own warrior for killing someone of an enemy clan which seems extremely messed up? Unless there is something I have overlooked or am not understanding? Alue, Kae, Alana - Opinion on this sector?

Yeah, I'll agree with you there Jason.
Rushing - You could tweak it a little and maybe say the clan wasn't the nicest - Perhaps Lightstar had a grude against Rushing for no reason and used the 'accidental killing' as a way to get rid of him? I don't know, but that'd be pretty interesting. :3 Ahaha. xD

Alue wrote:Yeah, I'll agree with you there Jason.
Rushing - You could tweak it a little and maybe say the clan wasn't the nicest - Perhaps Lightstar had a grude against Rushing for no reason and used the 'accidental killing' as a way to get rid of him? I don't know, but that'd be pretty interesting. :3 Ahaha. xD

Oohh, yes! :3

I love this character- He's growing on me. He's so interesting and deep. It's good. But, there are a few things which need fixing. It won't take long and then you'll be good to go. Sorry about the wait. But, just a few more fixes and we'll be done.

- Just clarify and alter the past (the whole.. Excelling someone for killing a deputy from the other clan seems strange to me. Just fix it up a bit, add something on or something)

- You still want to be in TC?

- I'll delete the extra thread you made for Rushing. This one is fine :DYou just have some bits to fix.

- Maybe just change "Mouse-Paws" to Clumsy-Paws (in the books, they call cats who don't like water "Dry-Paw", so "Clumsy-Paw" seems very suitable.) Mouse-Paw just reminds me of small, shy, timid. Not huge and clumsy.

Jusstt a few edits and you're good. ^-^

Or ClumsyWumsy xDD

Nooz. Noz. xD

Oh good, I felt like I did all that for nothing. >->

Well I edited the Bio and Changed some things up with the Roleplay/Backstory.

Sorry about the Confusion.

..::Why was He next in line for Deputy in Rippleclan if Lightstar Hated him?::..
In Rippleclan they Believed if The cats in the clan wanted the cat to be Deputy they would tell The Leader and they would make a consideration.
Rippleclan lived on there own rules, With the acception the Three clan agreed to this and added it to THEIR Warrior Code.


- I can't accept that.
The roleplay here is based on the Erin Hunter series and we don't accept RP (even backstories) which aren't based off the books. Sorry.

- Thanks for clarifying the RippleClan and BreezeClan-Deputy killing situation. xD

Alright. Ill Edit that stuff...

Cute character backstory!
Welcome to the forum, by the way!

Lots of comments here!
Amazing backstory, but, sometimes with complex and detailed characters it does mean that there may be more errors which need to be fixed up. But, don't worry, everyone often makes errors in their sign up sheets. No one is perfecct. But, now, that sign up sheet looks PERFECT.

Well done and welcome to GBMP. I'm Aiyana or Kaelyn, a forum adminstrator here.



You can now start roleplaying and posting around the site. Also, check out the forum chatbox which is located at the bottom of the forum.
If you get stuck or lost, give me a PM and I'll help you out.

I know I probably shouldn't comment due to all of the other comments. :3 But I cant help it. I personally LOVE the detailed summary. The story behind him is amazing, even though it did have errors. It was creative, and I like creative.
Welcome to the forum, and dont worry, you will get the hang of things around here. :3

Okay, Flareh will butt out now...
Have fun RPing!

 to the forum!

Great! Welcome to the site- I look forward to chatting with you and rping!