Cirrus the Lost Kitten (New user's first character)
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Cirrus the Lost Kitten (New user's first character)
by Guest Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:13 pm
Name: Cirrus
Age: Four moons, going on five
Gender: Female
Description of character appearance: Simple: Small, lithe gray tabby she-kit with green eyes
Kit(s), if any: Hah! NO. She's too young.
Preferred clan, if any: She's not in any clan.
Preferred rank: Lost. Not quite a rogue or loner.
History of character:
Extra(s): Uh, what?? Am I missing out on something?
Where you referred by someone? If so, who? Nope, no one.
Age: Four moons, going on five
Gender: Female
Description of character appearance: Simple: Small, lithe gray tabby she-kit with green eyes
- Detailed:
- Cirrus is a very small cat. She has a matted yet soft and plush pale gray coat with classic tabby markings. The dust-blackened pads of her feet are sliced and scabbed over. Her thin limbs are lean and, like her tail, very long compared to her body. Her ears look too big for her young face. The paws on her two front feet are white, as is a large locket on her chest and a band around her tail. Her large, round eyes normally carry a sleepy expression. They are a green color that can sometimes deceive onlookers into thinking that the optical orbs are more bluish during the day. Her claws are thin and sharp, and her whiskers are long and wiry. Her unkempt appearance tends to unnerve others.
Kit(s), if any: Hah! NO. She's too young.
Preferred clan, if any: She's not in any clan.
Preferred rank: Lost. Not quite a rogue or loner.
History of character:
- It's sort of long.:
- Cirrus's father, Frozenstripes, was actually a clan cat, but he was discovered on the furthest edge of a faraway clan by twolegs and brought back to be injected with twoleg shots, pricked, pulled at, and tamed. He was de-clawed and given a shock collar like a mangy dog. He met Cirrus's mother, a regular kittypet named Dolly, when he was 20 moons old, she being 23. Thus Cirrus and her littermates came into being. (One tom was named Bell by the twolegs, but Frozenstripes insisted on calling him Whitekit. Bell, himself, chose to go by his twolegs' name for him. The other she was Quicksilver to the twolegs, and Frozenstorm grumpily agreed to that name.) Her father taught her of the clans and did his best to teach her to hunt starting when she turned two moons old. Sadly, finding that Frozenstripes had become paralyzed in the legs, the twolegs put him down and as a result Cirrus's devastated mother, Dolly, fled her twoleg home with her three kits. As Cirrus's third moon approached at the end of Leaffall, Dolly was struck with a deadly disease and could not continue her life. Thankfully Cirrus, Bell, and Quicksilver survived on their own for another moon thanks to their father's lessons. However, just as the threesome saw the beginning of their fourth moon, a bear crawling out of its hibernation den was awakened by Cirrus's two noisier littermates. Grumpy after awakening from its just-begun winter nap, it charged at the kits with bared teeth and raised claws. If it weren't for the fact that its moves were made sluggish because it had only just awakened, it would have caught the fleet-footed kittens. They only just survived the first round, though it only got worse from there. [See RP sample. Then, after the roleplay example:] She woke up on a strange bit of floating debris in the middle of nowhere. Remembering how she'd blacked out as well as the fact that she was freezing encouraged her to leap out of the river and onto (almost) dry land. She's never touched water unless absolutely necessary since then, and she's been wandering around, struggling to survive, right up until now: her first Leafbare.
- Here goes nothing. It's also long...:
- "Bell!" Cirrus called out in a scared yet lilting voice, trembling. "Quicksilver!" Her blue eyes, glinting violet with the red of the early-morning sun, were wide as terror gripped her. She saw a sight worse than the bear who had originally attempted to annihilate the kit and her two littermates. Another shadowy figure was emerging from the black, foreboding den.
"ANOTHER ONE?!" Cirrus's brother screeched. His coarse voice was anything like his musical namesake. His own silver pelt bristled.
"Calm down, Bell... I'm sure we can think our way through this," Quicksilver replied, trying to act calm, but she wasn't fooling her siblings. Fear-scent was rolling off of her in waves, stronger even than either of her littermates.
"I've only been alive for four moons now, and I don't want to d-"
"ROOOAR!" Bell was cut off by a monstrous growl. The two bears did not seem to appreciate the ceaseless noise of the squeaking kits. Their black eyes glinted and the two beasts began advancing again.
"Stop panicking and run," Cirrus, the runt, advised urgently. She heeded her own suggestion and dashed away, hoping to reach the shelter of -- with a pounding heart, she realized she didn't know what -- before the grizzly creatures could reach her. Her sore paws pounded rapidly against the remnants of the previous snow day's frost and relief washed over the little she-kit as her seemingly violet eyes locked onto a just-freezing river. She could swim quickly, she knew, and didn't pause to throw herself into the swift-moving current. As she glanced back at the scene unfolding behind her, her already wide eyes impossibly stretched wider.
[Very mild gore warning:] There was a gray lump of fur, impaled on razor-sharp claws. Red spurted in streams from the already-gone Quicksilver's limp corpse. Even from Cirrus's distance the other she-kit's bright yellow eyes were visible.They were wide with horror, and her face was permanently contorted with anger and pain... Vermilion continued to drain from the child's body. The kit's crimson-stained fur matched the ground around her and the monster. Red on white. Blood on the cold frost. [Gore over]
Cirrus realized just only too late that she wasn't paying attention to her own surroundings and her head ran into a rock. She let out a shocked whimper and everything faded to black. She dreamed of the chilling image of Quicksilver...
Extra(s): Uh, what?? Am I missing out on something?
Where you referred by someone? If so, who? Nope, no one.
Last edited by IceWhiteLunatic on Wed Jan 22, 2014 6:33 pm; edited 3 times in total (Reason for editing : Random spelling errors and inconsistencies)
Guest- Guest
Re: Cirrus the Lost Kitten (New user's first character)
by Alue Sun Jan 19, 2014 10:35 am
Welcome to GBMP!!
Wow, awesome history and roleplay sample! Very in depth sign up forms are always good to see.
Just a few minor things- Cirrus is fine for a name, but if she joins a clan, it'll need to be changed as Cirrus is the more scientific term for a type of cloud, and I somehow doubt cats would go that deep into things.
And could you perhaps change 'Winterstripe's name to something slightly different? Winter is known as leafbare, so they wouldn't have the word winter in their vocabulary. Other than that, I think you're set. :3 Oh, and if you could just comment here once you've edited, so I don't have to keep checking to see.
Wow, awesome history and roleplay sample! Very in depth sign up forms are always good to see.
Just a few minor things- Cirrus is fine for a name, but if she joins a clan, it'll need to be changed as Cirrus is the more scientific term for a type of cloud, and I somehow doubt cats would go that deep into things.
And could you perhaps change 'Winterstripe's name to something slightly different? Winter is known as leafbare, so they wouldn't have the word winter in their vocabulary. Other than that, I think you're set. :3 Oh, and if you could just comment here once you've edited, so I don't have to keep checking to see.
Alue- Moderator
- Posts : 747
Join date : 2013-08-03
Age : 24
Location : Leprechaun Country :o)
Main Character Stats
Character slots:
(2/5)
Health Bar: (85/100)
Character Mood:: Neutral
Re: Cirrus the Lost Kitten (New user's first character)
by HowlingStar Sun Jan 19, 2014 6:58 pm
Hey! Nice to meet you! I like her history and the descriptive appearance. I'm Jason or Howly and welcome to the forum! There are just a few errors with your forum. Excluding Alue's comments- but Alue's two comments are right. You may wish to change the name "Winterstripe" as cats do not know the term "Winter" as they call it "Leaf-bare" so, that would mean the name is unrealistic. And if Cirrus wishes to join a clan, her name will also need to be changed. :3
Now... Here are my points;
'One tom was named Bell by the twolegs, but Winterstripes insisted on calling him Silverstorm.'
SilverStorm is a name for adult or warrior aged cats. Not kits. Therefore, perhaps "Silverkit" is a better name for him.
Here's some information about the "naming" process for you;
Information can be found from [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.].
Also..
Violet colored eyes? No, I'm not accepting purple eyes. Even in "certain lights" I will not accept violet or purple looking eyes, at all.
You have listed "blue-violet eyes" blue is an accepted color, however, your cat does not have medium grade spotting (40% - 60%) white, therefore cannot have blue eyes. Tabbies of that coloration usually have yellow, pale orange (amber) or green eyes.
But, otherwise.. Your form is perfection! If you can just edit the points listed, then, that'll be greatly appreciated and we can accept you.
Now... Here are my points;
'One tom was named Bell by the twolegs, but Winterstripes insisted on calling him Silverstorm.'
SilverStorm is a name for adult or warrior aged cats. Not kits. Therefore, perhaps "Silverkit" is a better name for him.
Here's some information about the "naming" process for you;
Alphess Aiyana wrote:In the books, the clan cats often go through a long process of name changing as they grow up and reach maturity. Whereas rogues/loners and kittypets do not have this process. Once they are named, they keep that name unless they themself change it or they join a clan.
In most cases a character is given a 'first' name by their mother at birth. This name is usually based on a particular physical or behavioral trait such as fur colour (Cinder, Ash, Fire, Gray), limb length (Spider, Long), eye colour (Heather, Yellow) or resemblance to another animal (Hawk, Jay, Squirrel). The first part of the name is called the prefix. It is the first half of a clan-cats name. The prefix is often followed by a suffix which shows the rank of which that character holds. Kittens or kits are given the suffix of '-kit '(i.e. Snowkit, Icykit, Ripplekit, Molekit), while apprentices are given '-paw' (i.e. Hollypaw, Jaypaw, Bluepaw, Whisperpaw). When the character reaches warrior status, the Clan leader selects a new suffix name for them based on another trait such as personality (-heart), appearance (-fur, -pelt, -claw, -stripe, -face, -nose), choosing the suffix in honor of a previously fallen warrior (-feather) or an environmental condition or location (-pool, -shine, -frost, -blaze. i.e. Snowblaze, Snowpool, Snowfeather, Snowfrost, Blueclaw, Bluepelt, Bluenose.) All Clan leaders take the suffix '-star' (Bluestar, Sunstar, Snowstar) and deputies retain their warrior name until made leader.
Information can be found from [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.].
Also..
Violet colored eyes? No, I'm not accepting purple eyes. Even in "certain lights" I will not accept violet or purple looking eyes, at all.
You have listed "blue-violet eyes" blue is an accepted color, however, your cat does not have medium grade spotting (40% - 60%) white, therefore cannot have blue eyes. Tabbies of that coloration usually have yellow, pale orange (amber) or green eyes.
But, otherwise.. Your form is perfection! If you can just edit the points listed, then, that'll be greatly appreciated and we can accept you.
HowlingStar- Administrator
- Posts : 3374
Join date : 2012-09-19
Age : 169
Location : Smexyworld, of course. ;)
Main Character Stats
Character slots: (4/5)
Health Bar: (90/100)
Character Mood:: Hhhmm.. -
Re: Cirrus the Lost Kitten (New user's first character)
by Guest Wed Jan 22, 2014 6:37 pm
Oh, duh! Of course they don't know "Winter". Jeez, thanks a lot, my dumb twoleg mind. I've changed his name to "Frozenstripes" and his nickname for Bell to "Whitekit" instead of Silverstorm. I know how names work; it's just that Frozenstripes was never too strict on the names despite his upbringing. I've also fixed Cirrus's eye color to a yellow-green, if that works. Lastly, of course Cirrus's name will be changed, should she join a clan anytime soon! Was that all?
Was that all?
Guest- Guest
Re: Cirrus the Lost Kitten (New user's first character)
by HowlingStar Wed Jan 22, 2014 6:47 pm
Yup. Thanks!!
HowlingStar- Administrator
- Posts : 3374
Join date : 2012-09-19
Age : 169
Location : Smexyworld, of course. ;)
Main Character Stats
Character slots: (4/5)
Health Bar: (90/100)
Character Mood:: Hhhmm.. -
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